


Soma

by yoursatanboyfriend



Category: Gravity Falls
Genre: Alternate Universe - Pirates of the Caribbean Fusion, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-09-22
Updated: 2016-12-03
Packaged: 2018-08-16 17:00:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,579
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8110339
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yoursatanboyfriend/pseuds/yoursatanboyfriend
Summary: "You don't make a deal with the Devil, Stanford. You make a pact with him." The demon with one eye's hands glow blue; the ship too, engulfs in a flurry of blue flames but they do not burn. Yet. A hand extends to Ford, and he stumbles, grabbing the hand to prevent himself from falling.It burns him inhuman."Welcome to the crew, Fordsy."





	1. Cargo

**Author's Note:**

> Pirates of the Caribbean AU. A prompt. The next chapter will probably just be smut and Bill tormenting Ford, but I'll write that. Eventually.

“I’ll _give_ you everything you’ll _ever need_ , and I’ll find a way to _**turn you**_ into a **monster**.” A thumb wedged itself between Ford’s lips, pushing deep enough to touch tongue. There’s a hand beneath his clothes, claiming the skin at his lower back; his breath hitches at every drag.“ ** _Me and you_**? We could **rule the world** ‘cause _no ones gonna fuck with me,_ I’m a **_monster_**. “

* * *

Bill Cipher. Not his real name, of course, by now his real name lay long forgotten, even amongst his crew who’d been with him since the very beginning of it all. The very beginning. Ha. When was the beginning? Where was the end?  
 And those not part of his crew, who had known his story once upon a time, no longer lived. Now he and his crew simply existed, eternally. No ‘chicken or the egg’ discourse. The chicken had no beginning and it wouldn’t have an end. It simply was, as it is.

The amity between the crew kept them going, as the days, months, years, decades, went by. To be subjected to an eternity where satisfaction was alien and yet, to also be fettered to the mortal world by desire. A snake eternally consuming its own tail. Hell.

He’d traded them all for this power, for this life, and despite the guilt, he’d do it again, for his hunger was resilient and ardent. And he was Bill Cipher, the demon with one eye.

But now, days and days and years and years went by where Bill’s past never once surfaced within his mind. He lived day to day, entertaining himself with the mundane and occasionally with the extraordinary, of which there grew less and less of. The sea held little secrets left for him, and it was miraculous Bill had not become jaded and desolate.

They called him a demon, but he believed knowledge and desire for knowledge made demons of us all, and with the right push at the right time, even _you_ , too, could find yourself suddenly one of the demonic variety.

 “Captain, we’ve rounded’em up! All’s clear!”

Another ship, another raid, and just another day in Bill Cipher’s everyday life. The Black Pyramid had picked up another unfortunate vessel and Bill was bored of this. The chance of finding anything interesting or fascinating was minuscule - what could the ocean give to him that he’d not already taken from her?

Paci-fire had rounded up the humans and all potential valuables on board for Bill’s inspection. As Captain, Bill had first pick and with the stubbornness of toddler, dragged himself to the deck to have a look.

The crew was all men this time. Various ages, no one too young nor too old, though.

With a dismissive wave, Bill said: “Let’s have a look at their hands.” Hands told a man’s life. The harder and rougher they were, the more likely their owner was a manual labourer. The ship didn’t need any more manual labourers; the ship needed very little at the moment but everyone loved a few new toys on occasion.

Paci-fire quickly got the prisoners to line up with their hands held out in front of them, palms facing the floor. The twitching fire that burned visibly within Paci-fire’s chest intimidated the men—Bill could see it in their eyes. Unfortunately, Paci-fire was one of the few who could not blend into normal society anymore. Not that such a privilege was necessary, none of the crew could disembark the ship for more than a few hours. Part of the curse—powers beyond mortal comprehension, but confined to this blasted ship.  They’d been tricked, and now paid for their foolishness with eternal imprisonment.

Bill walked down the line, inspecting the hands laid out, turning them over one by one.

_Too rough. Disgusting callouses. Very rough and very hairy—gross._

_Too unkempt, too rough…oh._

He grabbed the pair that had caught his eye, turning them over and scrutinizing them thoroughly – both visually and physically. Soft, smooth but not too slender. Masculine, no doubt. An older man. Six fingers on each hand. _Six_.  
Done with the hands, Bill moved onto the man’s face; a man, perhaps late 30’s. Brown hair, brown eyes, glasses—an academic. Decent build, or it might be, too much clothes to be entirely sure.

“You have rather lovely hands there, don’t you? Not one for hard work, eh?”

“I’ve—no, I’ve never had—no .” Honest. Must have a decent sense of self-preservation, lying would be a stupid move. Strong voice too, deep, not too confident but not too insecure.

“Where’d you find this one?”

“On the ship, sir.”

“The room, Paci-fire. The room he was in, you braindead imbecile. Why do I keep you around?”

Paci-fire fumed, literally, grey smoke descending from each nostril. He muttered incomprehensible words under his breath and led Bill to the area he’d grabbed the captive from. It was neat and plain, with nothing standing out to grab one’s attention.  
Bill made rounds in it, flipping through books and notes alike. He’d read all the books, they were technical-- oh, a new edition of this one. He hadn’t read it yet. He gave it a quick flick through and decided he’d be taking it. Bill gave the room a last glance and concluded he was correct. This man was intelligent and God, did they ever need more intelligent on the ship.

Bill exited the room. “Kay then. I’ll take this one.” He grabbed the man’s arm, quickly seguing the grab into a push. When the man stumbled, he was shooed forward by Bill’s hands.  “You guys can do whatever with the rest but if you take one of them to replace you for hard labour, I’m telling you now—if they screw up, you’re the one getting punished. Yeah, talking to you Teeth.“

Teeth had come to take a peek at the new potential prisoners but retreated when Bill gave him a look of irritation. Teeth’s greed was bottomless and if you didn’t cut him off quickly with limitations, he’d just hoard and hoard and hoard. Bill had enough of the hoarding by their second decade together.

Xanthar entered, grabbing the man with a large grey hand. “Okay we’ll throw’em in the deck--”

“No no, we’re keeping that one. Yeah, him! The smart one! Just tie’em up and put him my quarters.” One day, Bill would kill his entire crew for their sheer stupidity. Their shenanigans were funny the first few years, but going on hundreds, Bill was ready for a personal genocide.

Bill waited for Xanthar to fulfill his orders and then returned to his quarters, not wanting to appear too eager by rushing ahead.

_Finally. Someone smart._

The man stood like a lost child desiring their parent but uncertain of their location and the area. It appeared rather endearing, to an extent. Bill would’ve expected crying and cowering in the corner, so this was naturally a pleasant surprise.

“So, what’s your name, where are you from?” Bill gave him a slow, deliberate circle and finished with a friendly pat on the back. The man appeared surprised rather than frightened at Bill’s sudden appearance, but did not appear hostile in any manner.

“Stanford, Stanford Pines. I’m from—“  
  
“You know what-- I don’t really care. So. You’re a pretty smart guy, huh? Got a lot of smart books on…smart topics.” Bill said, smiling in a way that unnerved the other man.

“Smart guy, smart stuff…we could use more smart around here. Oh God, could we ever use more smart around here.” Bill picked up a book he’d asked to be retrieved from the man’s room. “Sciencey stuff, nice. Very nice. But if you can do this mumbo jumbo, you can do maps, right?”

“Maps? You mean navigation?”

“Yeah that. Are you good at it?”

The man adjusted his glasses before speaking. “Well, I did help our navigator quite often. Especially when it came to picking the correct choices based on weather. You see, you can predict the weather by cloud forma—“

“Wow, I don’t care. You’re hired.” A sudden toothy grin broke out on Bill’s face and the man seemed partially frightened by it, his upper body suddenly flinching backward and away from Bill.

Bill went to the entrance of his quarters and stood where he could get a decent enough view of the deck, and called out, “Hey Teeth. Throw Kryptos over board. Yeah, just throw’em overboard. We got ourselves a new navigator. Yeah, yeah just like that, right over the haul—yeah nice. Okay get back to work, you lazy slob!”

He returned to the man, beaming as though nothing had transpired. “Welcome to the crew, kid! You’re sure an eyesore though. Let’s get you washed up! Just like how you gotta wash a baby once it pops out its mother! You’ve been born again, Fordsy—“

“Stanford-- my name is Stanford.”

“Oh I know, but Fordsy just feels right, you know? “

“You just threw one of your men overboard! Without even considering the possibilities that I may be unco-operable or— or even perhaps deathly ill and close to dying or—“

“Look at you. All worried about what’s going to happen to me because I threw a slug over board. See? You’re practically one of us already.” He shrugged with confidence. “Don’t you worry about anything. We’re all immortal here, Fordsy. But you knew that already, right? He’ll just spend eternity questioning his poor life choices.”

The look on Ford’s face said no, he did not fact know about the immortality. It said he did not know Bill at all.

Bill made the assumption and jumped right in. “So, you don’t know me, huh? You know, it’s pretty rare that I ever have to introduce myself.” He leaned in close and ping-ponged his index fingers across Ford’s cheek. Once seemingly satisfied, he gave the man’s glasses an unnecessary quick realignment and stepped back.

“You’ve heard of the Black Pearl. Now get ready for the Black Pyramid!” A long black sword materialised within Bill’s curled hand. It was long enough to use as a cane, which Bill appeared to do despite it looking ridiculous. “Personally, I call it the Fearamid…”

“I’ve never heard of the Black Pearl.”

Bill’s eye widened, and for comedic effect, he lifted up his eye-patch, so that both his eye and the spiralling abyss in his left eye socket could give Ford a shocked and judgemental look. The sudden reveal of the blackness beneath Bill’s eye patch caused Ford to involuntarily imitate Bill’s own face—both now held a look of shock and judgement. Bill erupted in loud laughter, making Ford step back in apprehension.

“Well, you’ve heard of demons and immortality and things that go bump in the night, yes? By bump in the night I’m not talking about your parents getting down and dirty, I’m talking about things emerging from the darkness to feast on your pathetic mortal flesh—but I’m getting off topic.” Bill grabbed at Ford’s shirt and in one motion, tore the front off. “Let’s save my life story for later and focus on getting your little meatcage sparkling. I’m talking diamonds, baby. You better be competing with diamonds when we’re done.”

Ford started mumbling and stuttering and Bill silenced him with a wave. “Now you’re getting scared, aren’t you? Because you have to get naked in front of me? Are you scared I’ll do something horribly inappropriate, Fordsy?”

Ford looked away and covered his upper body with his arms, doing so in a manner to give the impression he was merely folding his arms. But Bill isn’t stupid.

“You’re taking this pretty well, aren’t you?” Bill said, curious about the human’s lack of absolute terror.

“It…feels like a dream.”

“Ah, yeah, that explains your composure. Well, you’ll soon find out this is no dream, Stanford Pines. And if it were, I’d be more inclined to call it a…”

Invading the human’s personal space, his lips made way to claim Ford’s own but stopped prematurely; hovering so his breath wisped the skin.

“… _Nightmare_.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bill didnt even introduce himself properly, the ass


	2. Winter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What on earth is that appendage?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had this sitting in my documents but I don't have time to work on individual personalities for Bill's crew yet so here's a short new chapter.
> 
> Me: dubcon sex is totally gonna happen  
> also me: im sorry but that’s too ooc for this Bill
> 
> Going for Bill having ‘transcended human nonsense and is now too awesome for your boring shit but is probably gonna get banged by 6 dicked future Ford’.

Warm water flowed over his brown locks, as the demon, Bill Cipher he called himself, exclaimed with a joy that did not suit an alleged terrifying demon. Normally, in tales of humans and demons meeting, the result tended to be far more visceral, bloody and generally on the unpleasant side.

So, what exactly was this…?

Bill Cipher, the demon with one eye. Ford shot peeks here and there as the demon tended to him, insanely curious about what exactly Bill Cipher was.

He decided to ask, what’s the worst that could happen?

“Why do they call you the demon with one eye?” Ford asked, ensuring his voice stayed steady.

“I have one eye, Brainiac.” Bill deadpanned and Ford felt a little foolish.

“I mean, how did you lose your eye?”

Lathering up Ford’s neck, Bill replied, “Well you see, I ingested so much knowledge that there just wasn’t place left in my brain. Had to pop out this here eye to make space.”

Ford frowned. “I—what?”

Bill laughed. “I’ll tell you some other time, Fordsy.”

“You’re looking just…dandy? Dandy.” Bill remarked, eyeing his handy work. He’d been thorough with cleaning Ford. Upper body only so far, the demon’s hand had not yet descended lower, and Ford had been bracing himself for when it would happen.

“You’re taking this well. Still no fight in you?” Bill asked, lathering soap behind Ford’s ears in a surprisingly gentle manner. The contrast between warm water and Bill’s ice-cold skin upon Ford’s own confused his body, and he was stuck trembling at random intervals.

“I don’t really see the point since you don’t appear to mean me harm.”

“Huh. Debatable.” A sharp pain pricked at his ear, Bill having pinched it. “I like your spunk, kid. You got this cool jazz calm aura about you.”

Cool jazz aura…? What on earth was jazz?

“I beg your pardon?”

“Forget it, a little anachronism.”

Both were quiet, only the sound of rigorous scrubbing passed. The soap smelt of a lovely lavender, another surprise to Ford; a pleasant one. Not one for lavender though, but the smell always aided in calming him down.

“I didn’t expect this.”

“What did you expect? More rough housing? A rape here and there?” The demon chuckled. “We aren’t human, Fordster. Our desires don’t exactly align with you meatbags.” Ford felt something touch him below the water, at his groin and he nearly shrieked. “But I’m not adverse to a _warm body_ here and there, but once you’ve done it a million times, there isn’t much to look forward to.”

Whatever had touched him, retreated. Both of Bill’s hands had been on him the entire time; what had touched him? _What_?

“Why…why did you take me?”

“Told you. Wanted more smart.”

“Do you always do this?”

Bill hummed contemplatively. “Yeah, I pick up a smart scholar every century or so.”

“What happens to them after you’re done?”

“They die.”

Ford swallowed.

“Old age. They’re human and all.” Bill ruffled Ford’s wet locks, stray droplets raining across the porcelain tub. “Don’t worry, you’re gonna enjoy it here. When we dock, you can leave the ship and everything. You just gotta come back within a time limit.”

Ford frowned again.

“If I don’t?”

“Well, you die. Part of the contract but we’ll get into that a bit later.”

“…what exactly am I meant to be?”

“A member of our crew. Or would you rather consider yourself a pet? I can go for whichever.” Bill’s hands were now beneath the water, rubbing at his thighs; not cleaning, simply fondling.(and so cold, so very cold against his human skin)  
“You aren’t like me, Ford. You aren’t like us. If you want to be a pet, since you’re the odd one yet, it would fit quite nicely.” Ford’s thighs tried pressing themselves together and to his surprise, Bill’s hands retreated at once.

“Don’t get scared. I’m not going to rape you.” A clothed arm snaked around his neck and Bill leaned in close; his breath frosted, sending deathly shivers through Ford’s neck and shoulders. “You can’t fuck your pets. It’s wrong. And weird.” Bill’s eyes shifted to the side, as if considering something. “I normally like weird though…”

“I’d rather be a member of the crew, but if a pet status protects me from your bed, I’d be more inclined to go with that.” Ford said boldly, interrupting Bill’s thoughts and the demon appeared to like that– his act of courage.

“Regardless, I’m not gonna touch you. None of us are. Like I said, we aren’t human, so don’t confuse us with your kind. We’ve transcended desires of the flesh.”

A metaphorical heavy weight lifted off Ford’s shoulders, and the difference must’ve been visually noticeable because Bill seemed delighted. Assessing his new captain’s appearance once more, he noted Bill looked remarkably human but after a closer look here and there, there was clearly something ‘off’ about his physical appearance. He appeared less than a human in ways Ford could not properly articulate yet– the strange slit of his pupils, the eerie intensity of his presence that seemed to leave him glowing… A handsome face, but touches of sinister hardened his features. Skin darkened by the sun, or darkened courtesy of decomposition– Ford can’t tell which. Blonde hair, more golden with eyes (or rather eye) to match; a truly striking sight to behold.

“Like what you see?” Bill broke through Ford’s introspection and he could only stammer nonsense.

“Stand up, I gotta lather up below the belt.” Reluctantly, Ford obeyed and to his surprise yet again, Bill cleaned him without lewd remarks or behaviour; it appeared more as a standard chore for his new captain- something he’d clearly done countless times and was now jaded to the excitement.

“All done. Sit.” Ford obeyed, the water still warm. It should’ve been cold by now, with Bill’s skin making frequent contact with it. Unless this was another one of the demon’s talents.

“So kid, you really haven’t heard of the Black Pearl?”

“No…”

Bill then spent the next two minutes making snarky remarks regarding Ford’s knowledge of the world’s affairs. He was dried off promptly, Bill completely disinterested in prolonging the action.

“We’ll have dinner soon. You’ll get to meet the crew, and we’ll chat about our contract.” Bill mused, brushing Ford’s hair gently.

“If I say no? To the contract.”

“Don’t say no.” Bill dropped the brush, leaving to fetch Ford’s new clothes. The tone used had not been threatening, but Ford knew there were other ways to convey ill intentions.

As Bill dressed Ford’s upper body, again, something crept at his lower body; wet and slimy, flicking itself, first shyly and then boldly, against flushed skin. What was this thing molesting him…?

“Why…why are you doing that?” Ford asked and Bill laughed.

“Just trying to get a reaction out of you. You’re so quiet.”

“I– what…what is it? That you’re touching me with.”

“Guess.”

“It…felt like a…I’m not sure. I’ve never felt anything like it.”

“Never ever in your entire life, Stanford?” Bill asked in a dramatically surprised tone.

“Tell me? It’s…”

Whatever it was had begun growing bored, inching away from Ford until he could no longer feel it.

“It’s…an appendage. An extra one.”

“I see…”

Bill handed Ford’s undergarments and pants, expecting the man to take care of those himself. Ford dressed himself beneath the watchful eye of Bill Cipher. Feeling self-conscious at first, a quick glance at Bill’s eyes said the demon was not particularly interested in the display, but chose to watch anyway. He relaxed, earning a golden smile from his captain.

“You don’t like being the centre of attention, hm? If I focus too intently on you, you get scared. If I feign disinterest, you relax.” Bill laughed. “You’re rather cute. But I think you need to ditch that cocoon and spread those wings of yours. Life’s too short to hide in the shadows, Stanford.”

“I’ll tell you what… why don’t we have dinner alone? Since you’re so modest, I can introduce you tomorrow. Would you like that?” Bill sat down at the foot of his bed, the action worrying Ford.

How considerate. Too considerate. Combined with Bill’s action, would he have to _repay_ this act of consideration?

“What’s the cost?”

Again, Bill laughed and beckoned Ford to come to him. Ford obeyed, not seeing much else to do, and he was pulled into an embrace. So cold, as though winter itself held Ford in its arms. And again, _that_ slippery appendage could be felt, trespassing beneath Ford’s shirt and idly crawling across the curve of his back.

“I will take whatever payment you deem fit. Or none at all. What will it be…? Does generosity flow _within you_?”

The change in Bill Cipher’s word usage and deliverance perplexed Ford. It was not seductive, and not intimidating. It was something Ford could not quantify. Or perhaps he was too naïve to understand the inner workings of an age-old demon.

“You’re too quiet, Fordsy. Tell me. What will it be?” The demon at his ear asked, its impatience becoming evident in the movements of its slimy appendage.

_What was that thing? What was it...? **What** is touching him? _

To deny payment might have consequences, but Ford did not want to offer this creature anything.

“Ford, **hurry up**.”

Ford continued to think.


End file.
